I apologize for not posting sooner.  Life has been so hectic lately.  I finally started once a week IPT sessions last week and being able to stay in my own bed in my own house every night has helped.  It is exhausting flying out to New York and home in the same day, and it makes for a really long day, but at least I am home at night.  I haven't had any more complications from treatment thankfully.  Week 3-Week 6 were really intense for me.  I experienced many side effects from the chemo and I generally just didn't feel well.  I stopped running for those weeks and couldn't even get motivated to walk, which is so unlike me.  However Week 6 I took a turn for the better.  The random vomiting stopped and the nausea supsided.  The neuropathy is still present, and my eyes do still occasionally throb and hurt, but all in all I feel better.
   
My IPT doctor thinks that maybe the Gc MAF has finally kicked in, and I think that maybe the autohemologous injections are helping as well.  I have started running again, although I am still having some chest pain during my runs, it seems to be residual from the damage that was done by the Doxyrubicin.  I wish I had never taken that drug.  I hope that someday with all the detox I am doing that the damage from the Doxy can be reversed.  

I should be getting my PET scan either next week or the week after.  I am a little nervous about the scan.  The last time I had one I thought I was getting better, when I was actually getting worse.  Although this time I can see how I was in denial before, am I in denial now?  I really hope not.  I don't think I can handle bad news.  I really need this to be working.  We have put so much time and energy into this treatment not to mention the huge amount of debt we have accrued in hopes that this treatment will work. 

I long to have my life back.  I wish we could go back to a world where cancer was not a part of our life.  Unfortunately cancer has changed my life forever.  The fear of cancer will always be in the backs of our minds, even if I beat it this time.  How do you live life knowing the cancer might come back?  Do you go back to school and finish your master's?  Do you stay at home and try to enjoy every moment of life?  Do you live in fear?  Or are you fearless?  I don't know where you go from here.  I have so many books on cancer, but maybe what I really need is a book on how to live your life after cancer. 

I am feeling tired and sore today.  My joints are aching and my feet are swollen.  I had another "attack" of sweating.  I never know when it is going to start and before I know it my hair is soaked and my clothes are drenched.  I REALLY dislike this side effect of the Lymphoma.  Sometimes I have to shower several times a day.  I guess it may be a good thing though, since there are no blood markers for Lymphoma I may be able to gauge how much better/worse I am getting by how much/often I am sweating. 

I am getting nervous about going to New York.  I was joking with Jack that if I had to choose between dying on a plane and dying of cancer I'd rather it be the cancer although 50 years from now (I HATE to fly, I am scared of flying and I will be flying every week!) 

I took the Gc MAF the other day and I don't really feel different, although I am worried that I wasted the dose because I took the heparin too close to the medicine.